At this time, the three words I would use to describe my friends are: deep, happy and sporadic. I feel good with those descriptors, except the last …
A month after delivering my four -year -old daughter, she, my husband Max and I moved from our hometown or San José to a smaller agricultural city. The new city had a slower refreshing rhythm, safe neighborhoods, amazing Taquerias and houses with mortgages that we can pay. The only capture? He is one hour from all women in my life who feel at home.
During the first two years, with only one child in tow, I made the 60 -minute trip back to San José to have lunch with the girls with such an obstacle. But today, life is so full. She goes to the nursery with her own new friends; Every month, blocking more squares in the family calendar for birthday parties and game dates. We also had a second baby, my little Ultra Kissable Squish, Emiliano. Child care coordination for two Children with their grandparents, who also help to see our children last week, in addition to finding a day in a month that my equally square friends are notable, it feels almost impossible.
Our group text looks like this meme.
So, at this stage of life, I am doubling two suspension methods to maintain my full friendship cup:
My first method is the random phone call. I will start by sending text messages to a friend five minutes before having a free time pocket, asking if they are ready for a quick conversation. Sometimes my name! Half of the time, the stars align and reach Gab. I have maintained this ritual my legs a week with my best friend Angela while I head to walk through my neighborhood or work in the garden. Duration of our calls, I learned your nightlife of the week (chopped Greek salad), your job anxiety (the rates!), And why could not attend your grandmother’s birthday dinner (a cold cold). Knowing these details of your daily life makes me feel much closer to it. Sometimes our calls last 30 glorious minutes; Other times, only five. Regardless of the call length, I always hang up feeling revitalized.
My second suspension strategy is to adopt friends dates with Children. Now that * I love * nothing more than a time one of quality with my friends, but since programming that is difficult, I realized that I would prefer to see them with my children, not at all. Grateful, my friends, who have no children, are open to that dynamic. So, I will invite you to a brunch distributed in my house, or we will find ourselves for a picnic in the park. Complete dissemination: There are many interrupted conversations while I run after my children. I remember the first times we tried this method, I felt aware of how many times I said: “Wait for a second!” While fading me to prevent her from making a questionable leap from the jungle gym. But then I remembered: My friends are the women who heroes when I cried the anguish of duration, they stopped by my side when I said the votes of my wedding and organized me food trains after I was born to my son. They assured me that, of course, they because Be with me, right in the middle of my little children. Who am I to close them from this new stage of my life?
Friendships are incredible and difficult, and are reduced and flow. While the way my friends and I spend time together is different from how we have done it in the past, I am very grateful that we find new rhythms that work for all of us.
I am curious: how are your friends at this time? Are you in a season where you can see friends regularly? Do you feel reserved with labor or personal obligations? Have you moved to a new place and started from scratch? I would love to listen.
PS 12 Great Great Reader Comments on friendship and 13 things to do with friends who are not dinner.